Just as surely as you can find bargain hungry shoppers lined up willing to risk life and limb to save some money on door busters on Black Friday, you can count on politicians showing up at a food kitchen or turkey dinner for the homeless or poor. Last year Walker made just such an appearance and used the occasion to launch a campaign ad.
This year’s attempt to play “Mr. Good Guy”, went terribly wrong. So much so that it has been kept a secret. The John Doe investigation has taught Walker how to keep things quiet – the location of the incident remains unknown, all the witnesses have been paid off, and the video shots have been destroyed.
Free Wisconsin has pieced together the “stuffing” of the story. A microphone was discretely placed within the turkey to be offered, however the record is garbled since it was baked at 350 degrees for over four hours, and as a result, the facts presented may be a bit over done.
Walker was positioned at the head table when the din caused by the loud clanging of stainless steel pans came from the kitchen. Here is where the “photo op” began to go terribly wrong. It seems that the Walker 2016 organizers and the Paul Ryan 2016 organizers had inadvertently picked the same venue to document their charitable concern for the poor.
The noise in the kitchen was Paul Ryan pretending to wash metal pans and when he appeared in the dining room clanging spoon to metal, Walker was visibly surprised and shaken. His nose breathing was so intense it shifted the whipped cream on the top of the pumpkin pie. He then made the poor choice of using his carving knife as a pointer as he gestured toward Ryan and said, “You had your day in the limelight. Now it is my turn.”
Ryan’s attempt to make light of the situation became more fuel for the fire. Tonette had laid out a lump of dough on a board (pictured above from last year’s photo op) and Ryan pointed to it and quipped, “Is that John Dough?”. Tempers flared as the distance between the two presidential wannabes closed.
Ryan launched a pie, with his work out strengthened arm, and it hit home. It pelted its target with an accuracy that would leave a prosecutor swooning. A food fight ensued – but you will never hear a word or see any pictures.
Billionaire Diane Hendricks wrote out checks totaling $500,000, the same amount she gave to the Walker Recall Election campaign, to all the present to keep the incident a secret.